Waste not, want not. In this time of scarcity, anxiety and making do, I recently felt compelled to use something I have in abundance. I bet you have it, too. That’s right. Spam. And not the kind that comes from Hormel.
Maybe I have too much time to think, or maybe some of the hilarious subject lines I’ve received just finally got to me, but for the past few weeks I’ve been collecting the best. When someone asked “Is your skills about to expired?” I decided to see. I never had much skill as a poet, but I decided to find out if what little I once possessed has indeed expired. You be the judge.
So here goes. I’ve made the best of my collection into a poem. These are all genuine subject lines, but I’ll confess to adding a conjunction and punctuation. I shudder to think what some of them were promoting, but the actual emails remain a mystery.
If you’re feeling creative, you, too, could give this a try. After all, this is a “use what you have” time in our history. Although one of these lines is a bit “iffy”, I’ve tried to avoid what seem to be obvious attempts to sell Viagra or worse. You try that, too.
And without further ado?
IS YOUR SKILLS ABOUT TO EXPIRED?
Accidentally sent you money
You could make $24,000 in 24 hours
So that. . ?
Money means nothing when you can’t feel the taste of life.
Natural powers will rejuvenate your health and looks
Stay free and win
Create the life you’ve always wanted.
Look into the future with enthusiasm but
Come one hour later.
In Russia, sometimes it rains cement.
Strippers help Las Vegas area schools
Show me your watch and I will tell you who you are
Say a few words here. No?
Should I call your wife?