All I Want For Christmas is Glue: Booklover Carols Part Eight

Booklover Carols

Yes, I know you’ve been waiting on the edge of your seat for this year’s Booklover Carol. No? In fact you’re about to run screaming from the room? I’ll give you a head start.

Every year for too long to contemplate I’ve created a new Booklover Carol for my readers to enjoy. We’ve had carols for and about readers, publishers, bookstores, and more. This year I considered letting the tradition die. Then I heard Mariah Carey singing “All I Want for Christmas” and I knew I had found a new carol to revise (torture.)

Last year’s carol, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Kindle” is still available on my blog, as are all the others. Just follow the links under the category “Holiday” on your right and scroll down to read them all.

If you dare.

Have you ever watched the pages in a book you’re reading fall like snowflakes from the cover? Ever had to keep a beloved book in a plastic bag just to keep pages together? I’ve had readers complain to me. So in case you thought I wasn’t paying attention?

This Booklover Carol is for you!

All I Want for Christmas is Glue

(based–very, very loosely–on Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas is You)

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
To go with all the novels
Underneath my Christmas tree

I want my pages, one, two, three
In perfect order I can read
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is glue, yeah.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don’t care about anything else
Underneath the Christmas tree

I don’t need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Give me pages, merry and gay
Lined up right on Christmas Day

Me and Elmer, snuggled like lovers
Gluing pages into covers
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is glue
Glue, baby

Oh, I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for snow
Just pages glued in order
Underneath the mistletoe

I won’t make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
But the very next time I buy a book
I’ll be careful what I pick

‘Cause I just want glue here tonight
Locking pages tight
What more can I do?
Baby, all I want for Christmas is glue
Glue, baby

As somewhere pages are falling
I hear readers’ voices calling
Glue or staples, needles and thread?
To reassemble the book I read?

Oh, I don’t want a lot for Christmas
Just glue for a little mending
I just want to read my pages
Right through to the happy ending

Oh, I just want glue for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas is glue
Glue, baby

All I want for Christmas is glue, baby
(Repeat until your tongue falls out.)

 

2 Comments

  1. Janet on December 9, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    Clever song lyrics! Your use of language is outstanding! Really. Jan

  2. Veronica Dibble on December 11, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    Very clever! Loved it!

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