“Grieving allows us to heal, to remember with love rather than pain. It is a sorting process. One by one you let go of the things that are gone and you mourn for them. One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of who you are and build again.”
I saw a t-shirt recently that had 2020 printed in large letters and below it the ubiquitous Amazon 5 stars with only 1 star highlighted, and the brief review below read “Would not recommend.”
2020 has been a very difficult year. Pandemic, fires, hurricanes, shootings. We’ve all lost so much: jobs, freedom of movement, health, loved ones, friends, and family. Even for those who have lost little we can’t help but feel compassion and grief for all those who have lost so much.
In the midst of so much loss Rachel Remen reminds us that we need to take time to grieve so that we may move on to healing. We need to take time to reflect on the losses we’ve experienced so that we’ll have the opportunity to eventually remember with love rather than pain.
I am grieving the annual August visit from my twin granddaughters and son who live in Canada.
Zoom is not as good, I know, but thank goodness we can still see our families and interact. We read to our 8 years old grandson three times a week in the afternoons—and then he reads to us. I am so glad we can stay connected. It really helps. Plus I’m being exposed to Diary of a Wimpy Kid which is so funny, we get to laugh together as he reads. I guess we have to make new precious moments.
Grief and I are old friends right now. Life has stripped away too many people in a short period of time. I finally realized that I have to let myself feel the hurt for each person I lost and get through to a new form of happiness. I was just getting back to a form of normal when COVID changed our world. I am mostly staying isolated for safety and that hasn’t been good for my mind. Too much time to remember and miss life as it used to be. Life goes on though and I am learning to treasure memories and look forward to a better tomorrow.
I’m afraid grief is becoming too common a visitor now. Stay strong, Rosemary. Treasuring memories is a real help. We’re trying to do the same. Talk care of yourself.
I right now my grief is that my dear sister-in-law /friend died two days ago following a horrible fall. I only see her a few times a year due to distance and saw her two weeks ago. We can’t have a Celebration of Life for our family to come together. The joy is having her for most of my life and knowing she is at home with the Lord.
What a stunning, unexpected loss. I am so sorry, and glad that you had time with her before she died. Our denomination often schedules memorial services—celebrations of life—well after a death when families can come together at last to remember the one they loved. I hope that will happen and be a comfort for you.
Our family and friends have been grieving the sudden death of my 18 yr old nephew on July 3rd. I cannot begin to tell you what it’s like to loose this wonderful boy . My heart hurts so much and I feel like we are living in a nightmare somedays. I did not get to see him because of this pandemic and that makes me very angry at the same time. Having to have a funeral with only a few people in attendance and the many who wanted to come to pay their respects could not. We are going to have a Celebration of Life when things open up for the family and friends who could not attend at his funeral. Everyday I try to find something to sustain us but it is so hard. My brother and his children will never be the same.
I am so, so sorry, Kathleen. And the loss was made worse by not being able to say the kind of goodbyes you needed to. A Celebration of Life will help. We have lost so many good friends in the past year, and I know that when we can finally meet with family and friends to celebrate their lives, that won’t be diminished. I hope the same will be true for you. In the meantime I know you are a support and comfort to your nephew’s family. Thank you for sharing here.
Grieving can be hard, but I try to look for the silver lining, and I know that with my faith, though things may look bad and I may be hurting, it’s only temporary, and goodness and happiness will prevail.
Can I share your post on my Instagram? I have used your earlier post about grieving in many conversations during theses times I would love to share your post
Thank you, Chris. But will you please tag me and use my name with a hashtag so I can find it?
What a beautiful thought about grieving. Wednesday , Sept. 2 would have been our daughter’s 50th birthday may she rest in peace. She died on March 29, 2017 from complications from the flu during the flu season. It hits home with this horrific pandemic. I love your books and have read lots of them especially the newer ones. Your Sunday inspirations are fabulous and right on target. Thanks so much.