booklover carols

Happy holidays, whichever and however you celebrate.

If you’ve been a faithful blog reader, you know that most years I favor (?) you with a Booklover’s Carol at Christmas. The carols are based on the more traditional variety, and I’ve had fun coming up with terrible renditions to delight or horrify you. Either reaction is acceptable.

Some of my past favorites were:

Here Comes Amazon (sung to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus.)

Here comes Amazon, here comes Amazon
Right to your front door,
UPS or US postman
Bringing books and more
Doorbell ringing, VISA singing
Profits on the rise
So clear a space ‘neath the Christmas tree
For Amazon’s latest prize.

Here comes Amazon, here comes Amazon
With your favorite tome
You made a wish list for your friends
So they could shop at home
Don’t need Santa or Old St. Nick,
Computer did it all
So stick the box ‘neath your Christmas tree
‘Cause Amazon came to call.

Here comes Amazon, here comes Amazon
Without a reindeer sleigh
All the things you ever wanted
One “enter” key away
Peace on earth will come to all
If Amazon prices it right
So let’s give thanks to *Bezos himself
‘Cause Amazon comes tonight.

(*Jeff Bezos, Amazon’s CEO and not Beelzebub.)

And a more sentimental carol for all the indie bookstores that have closed:

I’ll Shop There For Christmas (sung to the tune of I’ll Be Home For Christmas)

I’ll shop there for Christmas
You can count on me
Please wrap Poe with mistletoe
To place beneath my tree

Christmas Eve will find me
Where bestsellers gleam
I’ll shop there for Christmas
If only in my dreams

I’ll shop there for Christmas
I can count on you
You know where to find Jane Eyre
And Dan Brown’s latest, too.

Christmas Eve will find me
Where “for rent” signs gleam
I’ll shop there for Christmas
If only in my dreams.

I had no plans for another. Sometimes less is definitely more. However creativity strikes at the oddest times and in the oddest ways. I suggested some headlines for 2020 Christmas letters in my newsletter this month and one of my readers suggested another: I’ll Still Be Here For Christmas.

Yes, indeed. Of course this was the seed for another carol. After all, this is a year unlike any other. So enjoy or ignore…

I’ll Be Here For Christmas (sung to the tune of I’ll Be Home For Christmas.)

I’ll be here for Christmas
You can count on me
I will bask in my favorite mask
Beneath our Christmas tree

Christmas Day will find me
Safe in quarantine
I’ll be here for Christmas
Uninfected and unseen

I have soaked in Clorox
Cookies and fruitcake
I have broiled, and I have boiled
Every gift I make

Christmas Day will find me
Fighting off the gloom
I’ll be here for Christmas
Trading hugs with friends on Zoom.

If that’s not enough for you–you are among the rarest of the rare if this is true–you can find more carols from previous years here.

Wishing each and every one of you a wonderful “stay at home” holiday.

16 Comments

  1. DELORES on December 9, 2020 at 1:08 pm

    Ah, Emily. These brought smiles to my face! What fun and so much truth in them! God bless you and your family and all your readers this holiday season and in the new and, hopefully, better year to come. Next Carol should be about the vaccines.

    • Emilie Richards on December 9, 2020 at 6:21 pm

      Wouldn’t it be great if next year we can smile over a vaccine carol?

  2. Karen Wahl on December 9, 2020 at 1:51 pm

    I laughed and laughed reading the Amazon one! It has become a joke in my family about me ordering from Amazon (and that was prior to Covid)!. It has now become my “go to” for so many things. I also enjoyed the one about bookstores. I have always loved independent bookstores and my favorite ones are the “Tattered Cover” in Denver, “Brookline Booksmith” in Brookline, MA and “Northshire Bookstore” in Saratoga Sorings, NY. I have a gift card for Northshire still (it’s like gold😊) that my daughter gave me for my birthday as she wants to be sure our bookstores stay open.

    Merry Christmas to you and thank you for all the years of pleasure you have given me with your books!!

    • Emilie Richards on December 9, 2020 at 6:21 pm

      Karen, I’m going to suggest buying gift certificates to local bookstores on my FB page and hopefully here before Christmas. That’s a great idea and thank you so much for this suggestion.

  3. Adelyn Grudier on December 9, 2020 at 2:02 pm

    Do any of you remember the men’s choir singing Christmas tunes in the early days of Amazon when they were primarily book sellers? I did no enjoy seeing those ads. Hopefully the new year will bring happier things for all of us.

  4. Denise Almazar on December 9, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    That was awesome! Thank you for giving me a moment to laugh and smile. I needed that! You’re the best. 🙂

  5. Judy M Zell on December 9, 2020 at 4:34 pm

    I love them. The new one is definitely appropriate this year.

  6. Jane Goodhand Dougherty on December 9, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Love them, especially the last one. Christmas will be different for all of us this year (as was Easter , the 4th of July and Thanksgiving). It is important that we retain our sense of humor and face the holidays with a smile.

  7. Kathleen O'Donnell on December 9, 2020 at 5:38 pm

    Great songs to put a smile on your face… Happy Holidays

  8. Ann Fuller on December 9, 2020 at 6:34 pm

    Very clever and cute! Enjoyed your songs.

  9. Catherine (Beth) Larklund on December 9, 2020 at 6:54 pm

    Those are fantastic. I’ll be singing “Here Comes Amazon” for years I’m sure…😁😁😁😁

    • Emilie Richards on December 9, 2020 at 7:05 pm

      I’m delighted you enjoyed. I have so much fun writing these.

  10. Nancy Lepri on December 9, 2020 at 7:34 pm

    Love these!!!! Merry Christmas and best wishes for a happy and healthy 2021 to you and Proman! God bless, Nancy

  11. RITA Tellier on December 9, 2020 at 8:57 pm

    Thanks for the Christmas uplift.

  12. Terry Guerra on December 10, 2020 at 12:52 pm

    Same to you and your family, Emilie!

  13. Lynn Ross on December 10, 2020 at 10:26 pm

    Great, Emilie! I enjoyed then all. I used to write poetry, but i seldom get a poem anymore. I love poetry that rhymes! Thanks for sharing.

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