Fiction Friday: Part Two of One Mountain Away

Tuning in late?  You can discover what we’re doing and why here as well as read the first section.

Part Two of Chapter One from Charlotte Hale’s First Day Journal:

One of Maddie’s friends is on her way to the dome right now to make sure Porter doesn’t push her. This child, olive-skinned and lean, is named Edna, which surprised me the first time I heard another child call her name. Of course names are a circle. They come into favor, then go. Today’s young mothers probably never had an Aunt Edna who smelled like wintergreen and mothballs and chucked them under the chin at family reunions. They find the name filled with music, the way my generation never did.

The child Edna is filled with music. She’s a girl who dances her way through life. I think if she and I ever spoke she would sing her words. Edna certainly sings her way into the hearts of other children. She’s powerful here in a way none of the others are. Edna can rescue any situation. She’s tactful when she needs to be, forceful when that’s required, and a mistress of the best way to avert trouble before it begins, which is what she’s doing today. If no one beats her to the honor, Edna may well be our first woman president.

Edna waltzes her way up the metal bars with a quick, natural grace, and she’s swaying at the top before Porter can work any mischief. From here it’s obvious she’s talking to him. Talking, not lecturing, because after a moment, I hear him laugh. Not derisively, but like the child he is. I bet Edna told him a joke, because now, Maddie’s laughing, too. Maddie’s a courageous child, and she shows no fear. If Porter knocked her to the ground, she would pick herself up and start the climb again. I think Maddie refuses to let anything get in her way. Better yet, she doesn’t seem to hold grudges or rail against obstacles. She simply finds a way to go around them.

I rarely cry. When I was younger than Maddie, I realized how futile tears were. But today my eyes fill as I watch the three children divide the world among themselves. Here’s the future, right in front of me. Edna will lead, efficiently, carefully, fairly. Porter will try to disrupt everything around him, but if Edna can influence him, he may find a better place. And Maddie? Maddie will struggle with whatever life throws at her, but she will always prevail.

For the moment, though, the three are simply children, laughing at Edna’s well-timed joke while I wipe my eyes on a park bench thirty yards away. When I look up, I see Maddie’s grandfather, Ethan, start across the baseball diamond beyond us to fetch his granddaughter.
I turn away quickly to make sure he doesn’t see me. I wonder, though, if he did, would Ethan feel a glimmer of sympathy? Would he understand why I’m sitting here, watching a child I’ve never spoken to? Would he join me on this narrow park bench and tell me about the granddaughter we share, the granddaughter we haven’t discussed since that terrible night ten years ago when we stood at the window of a neonatal intensive care unit and broke each other’s hearts?

As I gather my purse and sweater, and slip my heels back into my shoes, I contemplate what to do next. I’m struck by how many possibilities confront us each moment of our lives, possibilities we rarely notice. We move on to the next decision by habit, then the next, and we never look around to see all the paths leading to other places, other lives. Right now I could meet Maddie’s grandfather halfway across the diamond and ask him to talk to me, even to introduce me to the young girl who is so much a part of both of us.

As always there are too many choices to contemplate fully, but as I stand and turn in the other direction, I know I’m making the only one I can.


Congratulations to Cheryl Rasmussen, Janet Warren and Sandra Baker who won packages of books this week from my 70 Book Giveaway.  Janet, who rates all her books said: “. . .you are one of the few authors who rate all excellent.”  Cheryl said:  “When I pick up one of your books, I never put it down until it is done.”  Sandra said: “I always enjoy reading your well written books with great plots.”  My thanks to all of them.


  1. Kathy Cousins on July 13, 2012 at 9:57 am

    I am intrigued by these excerpts and looking forward to reading the whole story.

  2. MerryBeth Grindahl on July 13, 2012 at 12:09 pm

    I’m headed to my Kindle to pre-order now. I am enchanted already.

  3. Katharine Showman on July 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Thanks for the sample ofyour book. I enjoyed it very much. You make the characters cme alive in just a few sentences!

  4. Wanda on July 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

    I cannot wait to read this book, it has already captured my heart.

  5. Nancy Badertscher on July 13, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    Oh, I am definitely hooked now! Of course I was planning to buy it anyway, but now I’m really looking forward to it!

  6. Pam Reed on July 14, 2012 at 12:02 am

    Love all your books – especially the series as I never want a good book to end – and yours are ALL great books!

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